The Gossip Column #3

Hello, Good Readers and Citizens fo Elk Point, and the Denizens of Fisher's Hollow! It is I, Bona Rharette with another scandalous issue of the Gossip Column! First, the Elk Point Police seemingly continue to be baffled by the lack of evidence of these public and obviously lewd public demonstrations of affection and carnal lust in the city. Not in the privacy of your homes, where good people everywhere are making babies, but in places like The Joint! The notorious haven for potheads and dopers, not to mention the rumored heavy drug dealing, also is becoming a den of iniquity, with more than one person witnessed having full sexual relations. From what this writer has heard, one more than one occasion, the two lovers were not even passing acquaintances! Is there something foul in the wares sold there? Are they laced with hallucinogens? Aphrodisiacs? What about psychedelics? One of our intrepid street reporters was able to sneak a spy camera shot of two of the alleged perpetrators of public sex in a public place!

The identities of these lovers remains unknown at press time.

To further illustrate the point, 911 calls from the laundromat about people having relations in the courtyard of the "Social Club" called Mermaids yielded only a pair of panties, imprinted with the words, "I'm High! Lick Me Lower!" There is no shame too low for such an establishment! In other news, the Arson squad has been called to the burned-out shell that used to be the office of our local psychiatrist. There is a leaked report that there was a molotov cocktail involved, which leads this writer to think that those dreaded bikers of the BRMC are back at their criminal work. Who else has such easy access to gasoline but those bastards on bikes, who burn hydrocarbons like they were fat doobies from The Joint? Could there be a connection between the BRMC drug dealing, and the Joint's new levels of promiscuity?

Another scandal making the rounds... a scourge of rough looking gang members have been seen frequenting one of the residences on the 5000 block of First Street. Any number of them have been seen coming and going, at various times. It leads one to wonder, does Elk Point have a freelance prostitute at work?

Finally, our police have been victimized, again! This reporter witnessed our very own, and very brave Sergeant Suzi Recreant brought to the Elk Point Medical Center, covered in what appeared to be only a satin sheet, bruised and semi-conscious. All requests for a press release from the EPMC have been politely declined, so far, and the EPPD refuses to comment, saying that the records will be made public, once the investigation is concluded. The only information available is that there were no motorcycles involved, but it could possibly be the work of a human trafficking cartel. Is the hideous face of human sex trafficking rearing its head in Elk Point?

As always, if you have news or gossip to share, I'm only a phone call away!